


Dimmu University

by Splotcher



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 15:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1190478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splotcher/pseuds/Splotcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College au with Chalrles and a shapeshifting Nathan for good measure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dimmu University

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Metalocalypse is not mine, no way no how…
> 
> Author Notes: As always, comments, constructive criticisms, etc, are all welcomed. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows for the glory of Dethklok. And make S’mores. Sorry. DethS’mores.

It was a crappy day.

 

The ‘West Coast Fraternity Boys’ had managed to corner him against the Business building again. The Zeta Alpha Epsilon Frat had something against him or business nerds in general, but it ended much the same way all of their meetings ended. 

 

There was mud over his clean, crisp clothes, one of his books needed to be replaced, and the homework would have to be reprinted. Again. And of course, there was that nasty bruise on his arm which Ricky ‘Kixx’ had grabbed him. That guy was a total douche. He didn’t know why Ricky targeted him specifically. Some people just needed to push people around, he guessed.

 

And then his car died. Though he’d put his money more on sabotage. He was certain that cars needed batteries to drive.

 

So he had to walk back across campus, muddy with a ruined book. Wonderful.

 

But the world wasn’t done kicking Charles Foster Ofdenson today. Oh no. As soon as he started walking back to his dorm room, it started pouring down buckets of water. He was soaking in seconds.

 

And as if that wasn’t enough…when he got to the dorm and sludged up the stairs to his room…his roommate was there, doing lines off his keyboard (his keyboard! He would have to buy a new computer now!) and screwing some girl in face paint.

 

He had never been so horrified. And when he requested a room transfer, the RA had laughed and said it was too late. And besides, it couldn’t be that bad could it? Everybody loved Rocky!

 

So he finds himself sitting outside on a dirty bench in the pouring rain again, willing some of the mud off. Maybe Leonard will pass out early, and he can run in and grab his clothes and take a shower. 

 

Or he could die of hypothermia. That could be fun too. 

 

He’s not surprised when his train of thought is interrupted by a low growl. Well, why the hell not? After all, wild cats lived all over the campus, why not wild dogs? Or hey, maybe this one wasn’t wild. Maybe it was owned by yet another person that was a card carrying member of the group created for the sole purpose of making his life a living hell.

 

When he turns to look at this newcomer in the “Kick Charles Day Parade”, he is also not surprised to see the big (no…massive) black dog with sharp teeth and red eyes. He’s not surprised, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t realize just how much trouble he could be in. The dog is bigger than he is and looks angry.

 

It isn’t fair. It just isn’t fair. Well, if he’s going to die…

 

“Fuck you dog. I was here first. And if you’re going to tear me up and eat me, I hope you get cancer from the medicine I take and the food I eat, and possibly the air I breathe because of who I live with, and you die a horrible and painful death. So go on! Try it! Screwing you over would be the highlight of my day.” He resolutely crosses his arms across his chest and glares at the big animal.

 

The big animal stops growling and listens to him, head cocked. It looks…what, impressed? It starts padding over and stops directly in front of him. He refuses to budge an inch, even as the big animal leans in and curls its lips back and oh god, that’s a lot of big, sharp teeth-

 

-And there’s a warm wetness on his face as a long pink tongue slides across it.

 

The dog is licking him? He doesn’t dare move in case the dog is just checking him for taste. The dog sits back, wags its tail, mouth open in a wide canine smile. It apparently liked him now. Well that would make one today. He reaches out hesitantly, petting the big dog gently. It doesn’t seem to mind, green eyes blinking (weren’t they different before?) so he keeps on doing it.

 

It’s the highlight of his day.

 

^*^*^*^^*^*^*

 

A few hours later, he’s washed and dried, wrapped up in a beaten grey robe. Leonard has taken off with his floozy girlfriend, leaving a cloud of white powder that had to be aired out before he even dared go back in and grab his things. He could only hope there were no drug sniffing dogs patrolling campus.

 

When he gets back into the room after his shower, he finds that his computer is gone. Leonard has stolen it and several other of his personal items, but he was smart enough to keep anything important on a portable minicomputer that was hidden well enough that even his mother, who on her visits ransacks his entire dorm, had trouble finding it. 

 

He needs a new roommate. 

 

After a few minutes of contemplation, he begins cleaning up. Leonard ‘Rocky’ Rockstein never cleaned up and he didn’t want the RAs to blame him for the hideous mess. It takes him the better part of two hours for the room to look like a normal dorm room again-that is to say, Leonard’s side looked like a clown on a bad trip threw up on it, while his side looked more and more like no one lived there.

 

He would have to go shopping again. Leonard would steal his books next.

 

There was a knock on his door. He straightened up, wary. No one ever knocked on his door unless Leonard was being really loud (but he always got blamed, why was that?) or if someone wanted money. Those were the worst-he could feel a sympathetic twinge in his ribs from the last time.

 

He opens the door partially and peers out. The man standing there is massive, at least a full foot taller than himself, with powerful muscles rippling everywhere. Dark black hair falls in an inky curtain, partially hiding a scowling face and bright green, feral eyes.

 

He swallows. Money it is, then. “Leonard…ah, Rocky, is not here. Whatever he owes you, I don’t have. If you leave me your name and an idea of what you’re here for, I can tell him…when I see him again…which I don’t know when that is, but I’ll bet it will be soon…”How much cocaine can he buy with an old computer, anyway?

 

The big man says nothing, just looks down at him through the tiny crack.

 

A full minute passes while they just stand there, while he grows steadily more impatient. “Look, he’s not here. I’m sorry. I’m going to close the door, I’ll tell him you’ve been by.” He starts to close the door, only to have it caught in the powerful grip of this man. 

 

“What’s your name?” The question is spoken more like a statement. 

 

“…I…ah…don’t think that’s appropriate.” What is it his Father said? In illicit dealings, never tell your real name. “I’ll tell Leonard you’ve been by.”

 

“I’m not here for fucking Leonard!” The loud snarl ripped out of the other man’s chest with such ferocity that he had a brief vision of the giant dog from earlier today. He had the feeling that this man would not turn out so nice.

 

“I will call Campus Security!” He said with far more conviction than he felt.

 

They both stared at each other. He could tell the bigger man was considering calling him on his bluff…well, not really a bluff. He could call security all he liked; they should be just in time to scrape what was left of him off the floor after this behemoth was done with him.

 

The giant opens his mouth when a blessed (but usually hated and loathed) voice floated in from the stairwell. 

 

“Ka-ka-ka- YEEEEAAAAHH! EVERYBODY LOOOOOOVES ROCKY! LET’S ALL SEE IF MY ROOOOOOOMATE IS IN!”

The man steps back, uncertain. Leonard bursts into the hall, girl one either arm, tie died shirt smeared in white powder and blood and god knew what else. The girls were squealing and noisy, and they were going to wake someone up pretty soon.

 

And…Cue the RA. 

 

The Room Assistant to Stampingston Hall (named for a prestigious senator that once dormed here, no doubt) was none other than Edward Norworks…otherwise known as Bink Bonk, an unfortunate nickname he wore with undeserved pride.

 

“Yo! Rocky, man keep it down! And you! You aren’t supposed to have visitors, little man, its after hours!” 

 

He didn’t know what to be enraged by first- the little man crack, the after-hours visitors double standard, or the fact that he thought he was friends with the giant, scary man that he was trying to get rid of. He hated this Dorm! Next semester, he’s getting a new dorm and most definitely a new roommate. Maybe Richard needs a new roommate, he complained about his enough!

 

The big man glares at all the newcomers, and for a second he’s frightened that he’ll decided to stay anyway, but the giant huffs in a way that puts him in mind of a three year old that didn’t get its way and stomps off down the hall.

 

He exhales a sigh of relief at that. He doesn’t know what else could have happened. It could not have gotten worse.

 

And, as per usual for these types of days, he is yet again proven wrong.

 

*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^**^^**^*^

 

Richard Knubbler has seen lots of things. And now he’s seen Charles Foster Ofdenson, covered in what he hopes to be shaving cream, bag slung over his shoulder, dressed in nothing but a pair of boxers. Closer inspection finds that at least some of the white on his body come from fingerprints left in what appears to be paint. 

 

“Gotta love those Friday nights, eh Charlie?”


End file.
